Said Every Blogger, Ever

Eye-catching statement that piques your interest; controversial and bold.

Just kidding!  I’m a really friendly blogger.  Plus, I have an awesome personality, and I have a really unique perspective on that statement- you’ll see.

I hope you’re still reading this.

See, I have a horrible day job, and the people I work with are assholes.  This blog is my pipe dream.  I secretly hope that one day, a famous publisher like you will search Google for amazing undiscovered bloggers, and there I’ll be.

You will notice my truly unique talent.  My style will absolutely wow you into contacting me.  After all, my content is engaging and informative.

I will get paid for blogging.  Something I’ve done will go viral, and I’ll be famous.

Book deal.

Yes, I’ll actually commit enough time to finish a book.  People totally want to read about my daily routine.  My life experiences are unique!  (Check thesaurus for “unique”- overused!)  Scratch that… sui generis.  My life is sui generis.

See, I’m intelligent as hell.

Plus, I’m ballsy.  By now, this post is basically forcing you to notice me.  After all, nobody has the skills I have.  I’m a golden goose, man.

You want serious?  I can do that too.

“And there, within the satire, dwelt the truth.  Her heart laid bare beneath an honest facade.  Every self-doubt glazed with humor.  That’s the way it had to be.  Without fear, her style was simply words.”

If that didn’t seal it, I’m not sure what will.  You might as well quit reading.  That last bit took every ounce of creativity I had left.  I’ll need eight cups of coffee just to replace it.

You still there?

You’re a rebel.  Nice.  That means you’re willing to take risks.  We would work well together.  You should sign me.

Or at least follow me.

Tweet me.

Like me.

Something!

Now I sound like I’m begging.  I’m sorry.  I’ll wrap this up.

Amazing, ironic concluding sentence.

Sui generis, man.

Sui generis.

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Dear Writers,

Blogs are outdated.

I know!  What idiocy; to begin my first article on my new blog with such a statement.

However, if my proclamation is, indeed, true, nobody shall have the opportunity to point it out.

Now, should it ring false, the following paragraphs will be held irrelevant.

And yet, the writer writes.

What I have learned in previous failed blogs and rejected freelance submissions, is that a successful writer is simply one who writes.  Financial gain is not the defining standard of success.  Many artists were long-dead before their work attracted any monetary attention.

Lose-lose situations is what drives the creativity of a writer.  The starving artist draws passion from a hunger for beauty.  The author gleans inspiration from the drama surrounding loss.

We live in a constant state of conflict.  The threat of losing something -anything- cultivates the desire to build upon the impending emptiness.  It’s what fulfills us.

Failure and rejection simply indicate an imperfect work.  For a writer- trivial.  Fixable.  We write on.

The only true failure a writer faces is to put down the pen.  Lift your fingers from the keys.  Walk away from the stories, and be content with the normalcies of life.